Dear Bitter Single Guy: OK. I recently went out with a guy who seemed too good to be true: sweet, charming, cute, and a complete gentleman. We had a great time watching a movie, cuddling, and just talking about each others’ lives and getting to know each other. At the end of the night, he drives me back to my car and gives me the most AMAZING good night kiss.
Then, all of a sudden, there’s no communication. This has happened more than once, so I just brushed it off. Well, I started to get to know someone who lived about three hours away. We talked on the phone constantly, shared our days, and seemed to have a great connection. I drove down to meet him and he was a completely clueless jerk. He never called back and deleted me from his Loveawake favorites list. So, having no one to vent to, I do something really really dumb: I write a bulletin calling him a ‘trailer trash slut faced lush’ and then proceeded to write a blog about him and the first guy.
WELL, the first guy took notice and called me on it. He explained that he had been with his family for the whole week and told me that I confused him. He said that I seemed whorish for talking to someone else and he saw me as someone he probably didn’t want to be around. I try to communicate with him to tell him my side of the story and try to relay my feelings and understandings, but…well…I’ve yet to hear from him. BSG, what should I do?! Incurably Stupid
Dear IS: Gracious, the Bitter Single Guy hopes he never pisses you off! IS the BSG is unclear on the timeline here. You went out with Cuddly Guy, didn’t hear back from him, so started getting to know someone three hours away, talked all the time on the phone, you drove down to meet him and he was a jerk who never called you back (was he a jerk before he didn’t call you back or is he a jerk because he didn’t call you back? The BSG is assuming that if he was a jerk when you arrived, then you wouldn’t want him to call you back).
So, in your fury, you quickly blogged about the trashy men you’ve been with and Cuddly Guy saw this blog and called you on it. IS, does the BSG correctly read that this all happened IN A WEEK? Sheesh, the BSG hopes he’s misreading that Cuddly Guy was upset because within a week you had dumped him, picked up someone else and dumped him…the BSG thinks he would be upset as well.
IS, you may have spoiled it with Cuddly Guy, but just in case here’s the plan: Go back to your new blog (which Cuddly Guy is obviously paying attention to) and admit to the Internet World that you’re Incurably Stupid and that you got your wires crossed with Cuddly Guy. Spill it all, IS…go through the entire “I can’t believe I’m so stupid” process in glorious 10 pt type so everyone (including Cuddly Guy) can see it. If that doesn’t get his attention nothing will.
And just in case nothing gets his attention, all you can do is prepare for the next time and the BSG’s best advice is to relax, sister. Don’t jump to the conclusion that you’ve been wronged…the truth is that there are VERY few folks out there who actually plan to ruin someone’s day. Sometimes it’s timing or chemistry or something (as with Cuddly Guy) going on that has nothing to do with you. Relaaaax…